More Hilarious Bicycle Jokes From 1896

“I believe,” said the manly youth, “that your bicycle tires need more air.”

“Oh dear,” cried the sweet, young thing, “and just to think, I left it outdoors all night last night.” (New York Press)

***

He: “What is the name of your wheel?”

She: “Do you mean the name the maker gives it or the names papa called it when he fell over it in the hall night before last?” (Indianapolis Journal)

***

Helen: What makes you think that Eve rode a bicycle in the Garden of Eden?

Larkins: Merely inference. The Bible says she was the first woman to fall.

***

“Are you a daughter of the Revolution?” he asked.

“I think I am,” she answered feelingly. “I ride a wheel.” (Detroit Free Press)

***

“If that puffed up thing undertakes to ride over me, I’ll take the wind out of it,” remarked the tack as the pneumatic tire hove in sight. (Puck magazine)

***

It has been noticed that the people who have the most to say about the “bicycle craze” are people who don’t have bicycles themselves. (Somerville Journal)

***

“What I know about bicycle riding,” said Scorchleigh, “would fill a good-sized volume.

“What you don’t know about it,” said the officer who arrested him for running fown an old lady, “would fill a cemetery.”

***

Bicycle riding is still on the increase, in spite of the falling off (New York Herald)

***

Hoax: What! you buying a bicycle? I thought you detested them?

Joax: So I do, but I’ve been run over long enough. Now I’m going to have my revenge (Philadelphia Record)

***

Here’s an edited version of a really-funny story that may or may not be true (you can decide for yourself; I choose to believe it!) …

The son of a Lewistown, Maine woman had “painful though not dangerous surgery” performed in his home. Afterwards, the woman found one of the doctor’s instruments and washed it carefully in a solution “of carbolic acid and sent it to the doctor with a polite note.”

A messenger returned with the instrument and a note from the doctor saying, basically, thanks, but this isn’t my instrument and, “I have an idea that it is used to hypodermically inject oxygen, hydrogen, nitrogen and other component gases, and to correct a debilitated, flabby, and inchoate punctured rim of air. In other words, I think if you show it to your son he will tell you what it is.”

“What is it?” the mother asked.

“My bicycle pump.” (Lewiston Sunday Journal)

***

Here’s the last one. It’s not cycling related, but I couldn’t resist …

Doctor: Are you troubled with cold feet?

Fair Patient: Not now. He’s off on a business trip. (New York Weekly)

Interested in cycling history? There’s plenty more in my eBook: The Boy With No Legs Who Rode Like the Wind. Here’s the link to my story about it and here’s the etsy link to get the book.