Why Did The Bicycle Cross the Road? And More Old Cycling Jokes …

Take my bike, please! Sorry, I couldn’t resist. Here are several bike-themed jokes from the 1890s that I found … They’re anything but ordinary.

Ethel: Maud has been trying to learn how to ride a bicycle for four weeks now.

Penelope: Is her instructor stupid?

Ethel: No – handsome.

Freeland Tribune, Freeland, Pennsylvania, January 6, 1898

Mrs. Gloss: Why, Hannah, Rev. Mr. Whitechoker says he called on his bicycle yesterday and you said I was out.

Hannah: Yes, ma’am; you told me if any pedalers called I was to say that you were not at home.

The Chicago Chronicle, October 11, 1896

Learning to ride the bike, eh? How are you getting on?

Oh, I haven’t got that far.

The Chicago Chronicle, October 11, 1896

Two scientists of the Twenty-first century were examining with deep interest a petrified body which had just been discovered.

“It’s quite old,” said one.

“Yes,” replied the other, “but not more than 150 years old. You will notice that it has the bicycle face and the telephone ear. Those peculiarities did not develop until the close of the nineteenth century, according to the best authorities.

The Warrensburg Daily Star, Warrensburg, Missouri, December 15, 1896

A well known cyclist recently remarked: “I have been experimenting with cheap wheels this year, and the new one I received recently I have called the ‘cyclometer’ bicycle. It keeps a perfect record of the distance I travel, as a spoke drops out every mile.”

The Winnipeg Tribune, November 2, 1896

“It is simply astonishing the way the bicycle is displacing the horse.”

“It is indeed! Yesterday I found a piece of rubber tire in my sausage.”

Star-Gazette, Elmira, New York, August 4, 1896

Mr. Sprockett: “You are improving in your bicycle riding, then?

Miss Bloomer: Oh, yes. I rode over five miles today and I kept ahead of your brother all the way.

Mr. Sprockett: You don’t say so!

Miss Bloomer: Yes; we were on a tandem.

Mattoon Gazette, Mattoon, Illinois, August 6, 1897

Interested in reading more weird and wacky cycling-history stories? Here’s the link to my post about my new book, The Boys With No Legs Who Rode Like the Wind, and the link to order the book on etsy for only $3.99. Check out other post on the Biking France blog for lots more fun cycling-history stories.