Breakthrough advances in underwear technology are going to make my upcoming French bike trip so much easier. And lighter.
And then there’s my brand-new, stink-resistant T-shirts! They don’t smell, no matter how much I do (and you really do on a bike trip).
But first, before I get to all the amazing boxer-brief & T-shirt technology news: Only 17 days until I fly off to Paris. Then biking in Bordeaux and the beaches of Arcachon. Back to Paris to meet Susan, and on to Provence for more biking, and the climbing of Mount Ventoux on my birthday (October 2).
So, as you can imagine, I’m in the all-important packing-planning stage of my trip. The goal is to pack everything I’ll need into my two panniers.
The bags that attach to either side of the rack on the back of your bike and carry all your stuff. The heavier the load, the more weight you have to lug up the hills and mountains. So, packing light is vital. And these days, what with a lap top, iPhone and all the cables and chargers and adapters you need, it’s getting harder and harder.
But my friends at Fruit of the Loom and Unbound Merino have come through for me.
The Loom’s new EverLight boxer briefs are “designed with fabric so light you forget you’re wearing them.” Ah, the accidental commando. They’re 78 percent nylon and 22 percent spandex … and 100 percent comfortable.
The Loom’s marketing people are right: It doesn’t feel like you’re wearing underwear. To quote Cosmo Kramer: “It be so … and I’m lovin’ every minute of it.”
Of course, I wear bike shorts when I ride. I’ll bring two pairs and wash out the one I just wore every night in the sink (along with my bike jersey and gloves). I’ll bring seven, maybe even eight pairs of EverLights, as seven or eight pairs weighs as much as one or two pairs of the NeverLights I’ve always worn. I’ll only have to go to the Laundromat every seven or eight days. Hell, maybe I’ll bring nine pairs. They’re so darn light.
And, get this: I’m only bringing two T-Shirts. Two! I used to bring seven or eight.
How is this possible?
So, these new Merino wool T-shirts stay “clean and fresh no matter what you put it through … You can wear an Unbound Merino T-shirt every single day for weeks on end. That means when packing for a trip, you can drastically cut down the amount of clothing you pack.”
I’ve tested them out: And they seem to work.
Me: “Susan, do I smell? Check out my pits. Don’t be scared. Get your nose in there and take a deep breath.”
Susan reluctantly (OK, very, very reluctantly) got in there and smelled my pits … and gave the thumbs up. They didn’t smell. Even the left one.
OK, I’m all set for underwear and T-shirts. If I can figure out a way to reduce my sock footprint, I’ll be so light I’ll fly up the damn mountains. Hell, I may even bring 10 pairs of EverLights. And, hey Fruit of the Loom people: I don’t appreciate you putting my body on the packaging. Where are my royalties?